


and while my dreams made music in the night

by fiveyaaas



Series: one good movie kiss [7]
Category: The Umbrella Academy (TV)
Genre: Angst with a Happy Ending, Complicated Relationships, Eventual Smut, F/F, Guilt, Heavy Angst, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Postpartum Depression, or at least mentions of it
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-02-07
Updated: 2021-02-07
Packaged: 2021-03-13 09:00:42
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,618
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29275839
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/fiveyaaas/pseuds/fiveyaaas
Summary: Nobody was here because of her, or at least the person she actually was. She wasn’t entirely sure who she actually was, though, so she supposed that was fair.
Relationships: Allison Hargreeves/Vanya Hargreeves
Series: one good movie kiss [7]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2139357
Comments: 1
Kudos: 16





	and while my dreams made music in the night

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Luz_Floral](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Luz_Floral/gifts).



> Okay, so I didn’t know precisely how to tag this, but Allison is experiencing a lot of guilt in this, specifically dealing with using her rumor. This is going to end happy, but there are some heavier themes in this. If there are any others that you guys think should be added, I will absolutely add them! That being said, I can assure that it’ll be a happy ending. Also, this is VERY divergent from canon, but it would be set pre-season one if that means anything.

Sometimes, Allison felt lonely. Okay, actually, Allison felt lonely nearly all the time, but she wasn’t really able to do anything about it. Even though she was surrounded by a bunch of people, the loneliness persisted. Or, possibly,  _ because  _ she was surrounded by a bunch of people, the loneliness persisted. These people, at her enormous house (that was carefully designed to not reflect on another enormous house she’d once lived in), were not really here because they  _ wanted  _ to be. Some of them were here because of the rumor, and some of them were here because of her fame and wealth. 

Nobody was here because of her, or at least the person she actually was. She wasn’t entirely sure who she actually was, though, so she supposed that was fair. 

She’d never been friends with a woman, but she’d been pretty good friends with Klaus growing up and had somewhat gotten along with all of her old teammates. Luther, of course,  _ was  _ her friend, but it felt odd to  _ just  _ call him a friend, like she was dismissing him with the word. 

Vanya, little Number Seven, would have wanted to be her friend, and she wouldn’t have had to influence her in any way. Then again, she would’ve befriended her because she was lonely, not because she wanted a friend. Allison imagined it would probably have been different with her, sure, but she’d still second-guess it. 

When she caught sight of Patrick’s blank expression, about a hundred feet away from her, she sauntered forward, willing to forget about all that for a moment.

* * *

Allison couldn’t explain why, on a whim, she’d returned to her hometown. Luther was still in space, and the only people she  _ knew  _ would be there were Diego and Vanya. Diego would likely not even answer if she knocked on his door… wherever he was. 

Maybe it was a case of postpartum depression, to leave her child with a nanny and fly to Indiana. Looking at her daughter sometimes caused a deep feeling of remorse, knowing how she’d been created, and she didn’t feel that guilty about leaving the child behind when she knew she wasn’t going to remember it, anyways. Tons of mothers left their kids for a few days, and there was nothing wrong with self-care sometimes,  _ especially  _ if this was postpartum depression because she could easily spiral. 

She couldn’t exactly recall where she was going, determined to not go to the mansion, so, when she stumbled into a small body, she nearly screamed, more keyed up than she originally thought. As she reached forward to keep the person from tripping, setting her hands on their shrugged up elbows, Allison realized who it was.

“Allison? What are you doing here?”

Postpartum depression. Self-care. What the fuck was she—

When she pulled away from Vanya’s mouth, the other woman stared at her in shock, a blush spreading down her neck while her hand reached up, smudging the already smudged lipstick that Allison had gotten on her lips. As Allison tried to formulate a response for whatever the fuck  _ that  _ was, Vanya asked, “Are you drunk?”

“No, I haven't uh… been drinking a lot lately.”

“Are you…  _ pregnant?” _

“Oh, no, I just… I mean, I just  _ was  _ pregnant, but, uh, I had Claire last month. So, it’s just like… I haven’t had a lot of time to get drunk, you know?”

“Where is Claire?” Vanya asked, like she was trying to decide if Claire was a figment of Allison’s imagination. She felt irritation spark up within her, but then Vanya’s voice gently asked, “Allison, are you alright?”

And it was so fucking stupid, that that one sentence could make her start sobbing. 

She didn’t know how to even react when Vanya’s arms awkwardly wrapped around her, just leaning down on her, despite the fact that she probably looked pretty ridiculous, cuddled up to Vanya’s shoulder when she towered over her. Though she was silently judging herself, Vanya didn’t seem to hold any judgement as she grew less awkward with the hug, even patting her back a few times. 

It occurred to her that she didn’t even know if she and Vanya had ever hugged before this. 

“Sorry,” Allison muttered, mentally noting that Vanya still used the shampoo that was provided at the Academy, based on the green apple scent. It was almost… sweet. How she would keep up to that product, for a routine. One of the first things that Allison had sought out with good behavior was hair supplies, even sneaking out a few times when she was younger to go to the salon, where a bunch of friendly ladies would chat with her while they worked on her hair. Come to think of it, they were probably the only women she’d ever been close to befriending, until the day came that they’d asked her where her mom and dad were. Allison had rumored them to forget all about her and figured out how to do her hair on her own, through magazines she’d taken from the salon. 

She realized that Vanya was speaking only when she quietly asked, apparently realizing she was taking in nothing that Vanya said, “Allison?”

“I don’t know what I’m doing,” she mumbled, realizing at some point that her arms had enclosed around the woman’s small waist. “I don’t know what to  _ do.”  _

“It’s okay,” Vanya said again, and she realized she’d been saying it to her a lot in the stretch of time that kept falling through her grasp. What if this was more than just postpartum depression? She didn’t think that she could handle anything more serious than that, and it was already too much. “Allison, do you have a place to stay? It’s a little late.”

She shook her head. When she’d booked the flight, she hadn’t planned anything at all. Feeling like she’d be intruding to ask to stay at Vanya’s place, especially when she didn’t know if she had a partner or anything, especially when they’d never really been friends propelled her to say something that she wouldn’t have in any other circumstance, “I could always go to back to the mansion, you know? They’d surely let me—”

“Uh, no, you’re going to stay with me. I wouldn’t wish that on my worst enemy.”

Was Allison her worst enemy? She’d been awful to her when they were young, mainly due to the fact that she’d always feared being overshadowed by another girl. How could she have overshadowed her, though? When she had no powers? 

It was odd, how the fact that she’d never been friends with a woman before kept circling through her mind, but she could very well figure out  _ why  _ that was. Vanya had been the first girl she could have ever been friends with, and she’d rejected her at every turn. 

“I don’t want to be a bother,” Allison told her mechanically. 

“You wouldn’t be! It’d be nice to, uh, spend a little time with you. I’m assuming you’ll be going home pretty soon anyways, with… was it Claire?”

“Yeah, Claire.” 

“Is she with her dad?”

Allison wasn't even sure if Patrick knew that she’d left. She’d just kind of handed her baby away to the nanny. The woman was rumored to take the best care of the baby possible, to not run away with her. 

Bitterly, Allison thought that Claire would probably get the best experience from mothering from a nanny. Then again,  _ she _ had been raised by nannies until Grace had come around, and she’d turned out fine. Her child was fine. 

“Yeah, she’s with her dad.”

“Why…” They called for a cab, and Vanya looked up at her. “Why did you come back here?”

“I don’t really know.”

“That’s alright. You’re… welcome to stay as long as you’d like.” She kept glancing around, like she was trying to find something to excuse herself for running away. Or maybe because she was in disbelief that Allison had showed up unannounced in her life. “However, you should probably know that I’ve got students coming over tomorrow, so I won’t be able to talk much during the day.”

“That’s fine.” Tomorrow was a Saturday, though. “What do you teach?”

“Violin.” She gestured to the instrument slung to her shoulder that Allison had just then noticed was on her, and she added sheepishly, “I mean, I’m inexpensive, so I’ve gotten a few students because of that, you know.”

“I remember you got really good at it, before I left.” Allison didn’t really know if that was true, but Vanya had offered up a place to stay for her. Plus, she’d just randomly kissed the woman.

Oh, God, did Vanya think that she’d agreed to stay with her because she wanted to have sex?

It was probably saying a lot about her mental state, that she wasn’t entirely upset with the thought. Maybe having sex wtih Vanya would clear her of the nastiness in her thoughts, and it wasn’t like she thought it’d be awful. With how needy Vanya always acted and how determined she was to please other people, the sex would probably be amazing. 

“I don’t know if I’d say  _ really  _ good,” Vanya said, blushing, and Allison felt bad that she didn’t know if she’d say really good either, mainly due to the fact that she’d never listened. 

So, because she’d accepted the fact that she was going through some complex feelings and needed affection that didn’t come from a rumor, she kissed her again. And they kept kissing until they were being dropped off at Vanya’s apartments, and they kept kissing until they stumbled back to her place, and they kept kissing when they landed on top of her bed. 

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you so much for reading! I will try to update all of the fics that I made multi-chapters as quickly as I can, but it is likely that I will probably start updating them in March just because I will be posting everyday until then!!!


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